Organisations

West Wellbeing Suicide Prevention

West Wellbeing are a suicide prevention & intervention charity operating in Belfast, providing care and support to those affected by poor mental health.   Services

West Armagh Consortium

West Armagh Consortium are an umbrella group for community based support and activities in Armagh.   Services Cultural Festivals Promotion of the Irish Language Armagh

Angel Eyes NI

Angel Eyes NI is a charity supporting blind and visually impaired children and young people throughout Northern Ireland. We are a solution focussed charity. Our

Newry SureStart

Newry SureStart aims to provide a central point for children’s services/programmes within the area, providing FREE support to families from the antenatal stage to when

Dealing with Conflict in Relationships

Lillian Neill Counsellor, Higher Diploma in Marriage & Relationship Counselling @ uHub Therapy Centre, Bangor

Disagreements are a fact of life in many interpersonal relationships, even the strongest and healthiest relationships may face conflict from time to time. It’s natural to not always share thoughts and opinions with your partner, or to have arguments.

Conflict in relationships is not always negative, if both partners are willing it can provide an opportunity for making change and can help identify and solve problems. It is important that you communicate effectively which allows you to understand each other better and make your relationship stronger.

Main Causes of Conflict in Relationships

  • Lack of communication
  • Criticism
  • High expectations
  • Selfishness
  • Household responsibilities
  • Insecurity

Conflict Resolution Styles

Most people know that in order to resolve conflicts, we need to communicate about the issue; but negative patterns of communication can often lead to greater frustration and result in heated arguments, trading insults, increasing feelings of hurt and resentment and causing disconnection in relationships which, if not addressed, can lead to irreparable damage and break ups.

We all have different ways of resolving conflict based on what we have experienced in our lives. Examples of these could be – 

  • Some people are instant fixers, wanting issues to be resolved immediately
  • Some are processors and need time to reflect before responding. 

Both methods are ok but can cause increased tension if we do not learn to respect each other’s way of processing and resolving conflict.

Ongoing tension in relationships can have a negative impact on individuals physical and mental health causing anxiety, depression, and poor quality of sleep therefore it is important to recognise when you need support or professional help.

Need more support?

Relationship counselling can provide a safe space for couples and individuals to explore issues impacting on their relationship and possibly identify underlying issues causing conflict. 

An experienced counsellor can help you to explore at depth your history of conflict in past or current relationship in a safe and non-judgemental environment.  They can help you think about how you react to conflict and support you to work on strategies to help you manage and resolve conflict more effectively.

Share this post

Leave a Reply

Join the Conversation

If you have a story to tell or guidance to give as a professional, join the conversation in making mental health a topic we can talk about together.

Ask a Question

Do you have a question and you don’t know who to ask? ASK US! You can ask your question anonymously! We’ll write our reply as our next blog post.

Posts

title image

10 Self Care Tips for Men

As a counsellor I spend time exploring with guys what self-help might look like and especially practical tools that can be used daily. Below are

We all experience grief differently

There is an expectation that reacting to loss and grief should be universal, but learning to accept how we process and manage grief individually is really important.

Why can’t I access CBT if I have complex PTSD?

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) can be accessed by someone with Complex post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), but other modes of therapy might be more helpful depending on your individual circumstances.